Someone was going to have to set a bad example

Kaskade - 4am in my headphones and I’m back. Last year, summer, first few months of autumn. You pick. Sweaty nights spent in the library the last few weeks of summer term, missing him, thinking about him, waiting for him to call, text, whatever. Acknowledge me in some way. That hole in my stocmache, that emptiness, killing me. The despair when he didn’t. Having to return to Sweden without having heard from him, thinking I’d never see him again. Back in England in August, same tune, walking back and forth to campus, always that song playing. Nights – and days – spent together. October, back to uni, back to him. That sense of coming home to where I belong, with him.
It all comes back to me, hits me where it hurts the most, making me feel sick, making my eyes water, my throat swell.
I miss you so much.